I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
