weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I touched a dick in church today
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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