They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
