In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
