Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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