there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
