i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
