We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
