I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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