never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Randomize