I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
