his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
did i just pee glitter
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
