He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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