He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
