i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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