perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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