I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize