How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
