We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
