i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
