Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize