Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
