Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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