I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
