I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Vodka?
Forever.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
