do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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