At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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