It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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