No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
