I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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