eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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