She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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