naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
