you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
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