i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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