NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
