Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
4 words: hood of his car
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
