I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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