i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize