can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
