Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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