just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
