Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
