the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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