I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
