So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
