At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
