Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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