how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
