I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The power of my boobs compel you
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
