that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
