so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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