so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
