she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
