i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
