Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
