Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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