Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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