First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
