tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize