i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
