Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
A bitchslap is in order.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
