hell yes lets make some ravioli
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
