Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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