and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
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