I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
